Date: 2002-09-28
Time: 3:03 p.m.

IE crashed and ate my last attempt at an entry. Not eating right leaves me ridiculously emotionally vulnerable to absurd mood-swing fuckittyfuck; this condition is compounded by reckless caffeine intake. I crashed my car right before megadumb but the party still went off without a hitch; I'd post pictures but then the irunrap.com server went down and I have to go to boston tomorrow to rescue it and bring it to troy. it has been impossible lately for me to go one day without listening to '604' by ladytron and embarrasingly and exuberantly pumping my finger in the air to the music. today is the birthday of the girl I met on the internet, but thanks to my ineptitude with drop-down menus (not forgivable really considering my profession) the flowers I ordered for her arrived yesterday instead of today. I have officially made the transition from "guy who bums cigarettes from people occasionally when stressed, busy, or drunk" to "smoker", just in time to shell out $7.50 a pack in New York. Jesse is working hard to get grants for 1-800-CIPHER1 and I really hope someone forks over the $11,000 cuz it will totally rule and totally reconfigure people's notions of public and private, performance art and utility, and also of what is and is not utterly ill. last night I was walking home in the rain (walking, right, cuz you'll recall I crashed my car) and it was 11:30 and it had been a shitty day, capping of a turmultious week, and so my fone rang and I was pissed and I grabbed it and was like "there's no way this'll be her" but then it was her, the girl from the internet, whose name is Laura, and so I talked to her for some time and my bad mood melted right off me and after I hung up I jumped up and down with delight and raced to my laptop to put on "blue skied an' clear", originally by Slowdive, reŽnvisioned by Manual, which is another piece of music I cannot go a single 24-hour period without hitting 'play' on, and I felt good, yeah. soon my good friend Hisao will come and pick me up in his car and buy me food, cuz he knows I'm poor and is seriously dope like that. I got the body shop that's fixing my car to fax me an estimate yesterday and it was 6 pages long and the final total was about $6,000, which makes me really appreciate those monthly checks I've been writing to the insurance company. when I go home tomorrow to get the server I'll be staying at my mom's, but in the study on the couch, cuz she rented my room out, which I can't really argue with cuz she rented it to a cute girl apparently, but really, the fucking couch, bleah. troy really blows on the weekends but at least the sitting-around-doing-nothing factor makes me want to draw and write and all that other shit I'm always complaining about not having enough time for, yeah. for some twisted reason my life has been seriously wack lately but I've been feeling really, really good about things; I would much rather logistic problems than emotional ones cuz after a certain threshold of stress I'll just be like "this isn't really happening" and treat the whole logistical ball of wax like some sort of video game, and more or less things clear up thereafter cuz I find myself amusedly dealing with my own conundrum w/o stressing. interpol also rocks. waking up in the morning can be the most painful, horrendous thing in the entire world, and I hate it, but then like once I'm up everything's cool. this december 5 I will turn 25 and I want to throw the biggest, grandiosest, retardedest party ever in the world, with two locations: troy and new york city... if you have a venue or suggestions or anything like that for this endeavor you should let me know cuz I can guarantee you a good time for your buck. wordup. I love you.

-fish

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