Date: 2000-12-29
Time: 00:55:53

I had a motherfucking first-class disturbing dream last night. I don't remember too much except the really throttling shit, which was this: I was in a subway station of some sort. it vaguely looked like a typical NYC station, but only vaguely. for some reason the third rail was elevated about three feet, right about the height of the platform, but on the side of the tracks farther away from the platform.

what proceeded to happen was a bunch of people came into the station. they were behaving in a sort of happy, garrolous manner, like they'd just come out of a party and were eager to get to the next to keep their buzz up, or some such thing. they realized they were on the wrong platform, so they decided to just walk through the tracks instead of leave the station and re-enter through the correct service entry.

what I particularly noticed at this point was that I was personally alone, and that I was jealous of the topical camaraderie they displayed. what was odd was that my jealousy persisted just a little too far into what I saw happen to them, which was this: in proceeding across the tracks, they had to shimmy, single-file, through a maybe 2-foot gap in the third rail, which (as you'll no doubt recall) was up at about chest-level. they had all just made it through, except for the last, when a train erupted into their side of the station, without any warning. they were all trapped on the tracks, as they couldn't all escape through the gap in the rail. they were all completely shredded by the oncoming train. I got to actually fucking see this in the dream. it was fucking horrible.

what was even more wack was the manner in which I remembered this shit: the dream's memory remained obscure until I was standing on the F train platform this morning, going to work, as the train barreled into the station past me, much as it did in the dream.

this is, like, at least the 800th dream I've had that's involved horrific death and the subway. usually it's my death, but it's not like this was a particularly welcome change. I don't even want to think about all the fucking implications of this bullshit. geez christ.

anyway I wish I had something vaguely uplifing to offer you, the imaginary reader, after all that, but I don't, other than meaningless blather about how my day today really sucks ass. right now I'm stuck at work. no one else is here. only four people were here but for some sick reason I was the only one who had any work to do, and it was (nay, is) quite a shitload. I won't get into all the fucked up work shit that I could, like about how my boss is a total robot & the psychosexual dynamics here are so bizarre and fucked up.

ahh, but I made up for all this by riding my boss' illegal electric motor scooter around the office for like a half hour after everyone left while I waited for an ae render to finish up. that was hott. I set up empty cookie tins left over from christmas and plowed into them at maybe 25 mph, making a big fucking ruckus.

blagh. anyway. there you have it. my wack psyche in a nutshell. gots to go do more bullshit work now. yeah yeah.