Date: 2001-01-03
Time: 12:07 AM

so this was my most recent dream: I dreampt that my very very first girlfriend from like junior freaking high was giving me a ride somewhere in Newton, my hometown, and she was driving this huge caddy and there was a gigantic condom machine mounted on the wall in the back seat. how about that, eh? for the record I never even kissed this girl, let alone got busy in the back seat or anything remotely like that (I am a geek and I was one back then, too, yanno). I love my fucking subconcious. yeah.

I just got back from the aforementioned hometown, where I had the aforedescribed dream, in my old bed in my old room. yeah. I love sleeping there because there are no elevated trains, sirens, cranked subsonic bass tubes, squealing tires, irate intoxicated vagrants, et cetera ad nauseum, right outside my window. usually I have asswhippity dreams in this bed for this reason. in fact I do believe I had a whole slew of dreams but of course the condom machine one is the only one I can dregde up. yeah.

anyway I was going to say "I hope you, the imaginary reader, had a happy new year" but I as I typed that I recalled that I revealed the existence of this bullshit diary thang to an actual human so fuck that. instead I hope you had a new year's that was at least as shitty as mine. my new year's was grandiosely shitty. I got intoxicated and told a bunch of people at a rather lame parteee I was at that they were essentially a bunch of ' motherfucking robot motherfuckers who just blindly follow the directions issued by your poorly programmed brain stem simulations' and then went home, fuming, at four A.M. and went to sleep. my brother was there with me and he saw it all happen.

sadly it was the second new years' in a row that I ushered in by vomiting for about a half an hour immediately after midnight. next year I hereby pledge I will not do that. last year was better in that after puking I proceeded to dance around the washington square park area singing 'No Sex in the Champagne Room' to a bunch of japanese tourists.

well anyway fuck that. I would kill not to go to work tomorow, cuz I feel like crap, like actually sick and not just parteeed out. so call me if you have a good excuse. plus I'm fucking starving and I have no money and the only thing in the fridge is this mammoth pumpkin pie that is way too glycemic to be eat now. fuck fuck fuck, I say. yeah.

also anyone with any info on washington dc should email me cuz I know nothing about it yet I plan to go there at some point this month, january, the year 2001. that would be useful shit and I'd love you.