Date: 2002-04-24
Time: 5:26 p.m.

what the fuck am I doing. I'm fucking updating my 'web journal', that's what I'm doing. but WHY, I ask you. I have so much fucking shit I should be doing that I'm not. yet I'm somehow drawn to this godforsaken textbox. what a horrible problem.

anyway that's cuz I'm feeling CATHARTIC, yessss indeed ladies 'n' gents. I want to TELL YOU SOMETHING. why I feel this way is anyone's guess. why I feel that the best way to alleviate the cathartic urge is to babble via KEYBOARD into a WEB PAGE rather than sit down with a friend of mine, or a fone connected to a friend of mine, or even a keyboard connected to a computer connected to the internet connected to another friend of mine with email, is a seriously mindfuckitty mess I would say, but yeah yeah whatever here goes.

so yeah, a short while back I went to california, where I installed my video in a gallery. in the frenetic spastic week leading up to the trip, I'd moronically let it slip to my ex-girlfriend that I was going there. she lives in L.A. to my credit, I had no idea she would say what she said, which was "oh boy I'll drive up and visit you!!", becuz it takes longer to drive from LA to SF than it does to fly there from NYC, so I mean really. but anyway she said that and lo, she actually DID that, and I had to deal w/ it.

and I'll tell you: it wasn't ok. it was really, really wack. she came over and she was immediately all up in my face, as if we were still dating. incedentally we broke up over two years ago and that was just fine with me at the time, really, but apparently she's still WAY INTO ME and so first I had to actually cock-block MYSELF, which was truly bizarre. I called up Alex, this guy who's my friend Tyler's best friend, and I went over to his house with my ex in tow. fortunately she hit it off with Alex's wife, and Alex and I went on and on about art and life and technology and all that sort of shit. all of this took place at a bar, incedentally, so of course I got as drunk as humanly possible under the circumstances.

but so yeah after that she was all like 'can I crash at your place?' and I said 'ok' instead of 'are you mad?' but so yeah when we got back to the hotel, she told me that she was still into me, etc, and we had to have a 'serious talk'. this was not at all what I signed up for when I went to san fransisco, I might remind you. I was going to set up my frigging art. prior to this, I'd only been to california twice, and EACH TIME it'd been with a different girl who turned out to be somehow nuts. I was seriously hoping to break that streak with this trip, but NOOOOOO. I don't know what it is about insane people. they fucking LOVE me. clearly they all think I'm one of them. hoo boy.

but so anyway yeah. that shit happened. it was wack and I felt like sharing. bleah. you can read about my head injury if you're into it, as well. yeah.


ps. BLEAH!