Date: 2003-02-05 Time: 2:40 p.m. CONGRADULATIONS on your purchase of one (1) ALEXANDER D BOHN! Your ALEXANDER D BOHN includes the following: one (1) THOROUGHLY BUSTED g4 powerbook that does not work at all! one (1) THOROUGHLY BUSTED 1997 saab 900, replete with many versatile and informative DASHBOARD LIGHTS! (a future upgrade will connect these DASHBOARD LIGHTS directly to your ALEXANDER D BOHN's bank account, to simplify matters) one (1) empty refrigerator! one (1) not-quite-thoroughly-busted-but-getting-there sprint pcs handset, with the latest in RANDOM DROPPED CALL and INACCURATE BILLLING AND REPORTING features! eight (8) class A kamel red lights a random assortment of ideas that may or may not be dumb! one (1) small notebook, into which your ALEXANDER D BOHN can transcribe his many retarded woes! a wite variety of deadlines and other pressing concerns! boundless, infinite, ever-expanding, face melting LOVE. ... make sure you fill out the warranty card completely. no refunds or exchanges. have a nice day! -fish