Date: 2003-09-21
Time: 4:22 p.m.

man, everything's real nuts. I'm stressed beyond belief. everything I try to do to relax involves even more stress, which involves even more excess cortisol in my thalamus, which makes me dumber, which makes me more likely to do something retarded, which in turn stresses me out more. it's a vicious cycle.

a great concrete example of this is how I thought I'd have a nice weekend with parties and freinds and movies and stuff. I geared up to play these two video shows, you see, back to back friday and saturday. they both ended up being somewhat fun, yes, but the general overarching emotional content was 'psychotic', at least from my standpoint.

I'm not going to go into details, cuz that would just cause me even more mental agony, but so the upshot is that friday I ended up having to wire this entire house for video. kevin and myself (and like one other dude) strung hundeds of feet of cable all over this one apartment building in troy, so I could put cameras and tvs in every room. sounds great, right? it was, except for the fact that no one was helping us and it was at least a 20-person job, and this was on top of me having to sweep out most of the floor and throw away trash, etc, cuz the place wa a mess, and but so I was still setting shit up at like midnight, and the whole thing was extrordinarily stressful and my video ended up kind of mediocre as a result.

see yeah, what I've been telling people of late, is that it kind of sucks to do video, at least vís a vis audio, cuz when you do audio you just show up with your fucking laptop (or your guitar or kazoo or what have you) and plug it into someone elses' massive speaker array that's already nicely set up. whereas, for video, you have to lug around projectors, and worry about surfaces to project onto, and rig up the whole sorry mess yourself, and then tear it down at the end of the night, when you'd much rather be drinking yourself into a stupor with your musician freinds, who packed up in like 30 seconds. when I played remote lounge the other week, this was a gorgeously notable exception, as they cater to dorkfaces and as such they have a pile of preconfigured monitors and all that. that was nice. yeah.

so yeah friday was ill but also a cortisol-rich stressball from hell, in its own way. then there was saturday. laura drove me down from troy to anthony's, where we were rocking the sequel to the infamous MEGADUMB 2002 event on his bed-stuy rooftop. I was (nay, I still am, I'm typing this in an 'internet café' in 'williamsburg') planning to amtrak my ass back home, so I carefully packed all of my video shit into three bags so I could carry it all. the drive down was a little rough, especially for laura, who wound up getting to troy at like 3 in the fucking morning the night previous, but so we got there and I set up and for a while it was just dreamy. I utilized every single cable I'd brought and I had this awesome minimalist yet fully functional pile of video equipment. I projected it all on the side of the staircase that opened out on the roof, right next to the DJ booth, which we had under this little tent thing. it was cozy and pleasant until this utter raging asshole ran up to me screaming "WHOSE PARTY IS IT?!?" I tried to tell him but before I could, he GRABBED MY FUCKING SHIRT COLLAR and repeated his demand into my face at high volume.

now this was megawack, especially cuz the part had been cleared with the supervisor of the building, and (in retrospect) it was apparent that this asshole was the only such asshole in the place. what was even more wack, tho, was how he demanded that we shut it all down in 30 minutes. anthony, who was running the show, was like 'fuck that' as the asshole in question was clearly in the minority, and plus with the building super himself sitting over by the speaker with a 22 of heineken in his hand, we figured it wa a nonissue. this proved not to be the case, when the asshole retuned in a 1/2 hour and cut the fucking power cord through which all of our power came.

this was, in some ways, the last straw. I proceeded to have a pretty lousy evening from that point on. other asscrappy shit has happened to me of late, as well. I will spare you (and myself) the pain of running through it all, but these are some of the highlights:
  • drank too much last thursday
  • problems selling car
  • changing web servers at work, which is annoying
  • people in gerenal are dicks
  • don't have any money

I should shut up, really, cuz some things are good. some people are actually not dicks, for example. also I got a g5 and finalcut 4 at work, which is nice. I also bought extremely nice cheese, just now. so yeah. maybe I'll update more later. I have edit some video and refine this page and do the dirty work at work, but maybe yeah, maybe I will blather on more. later. yes. ok. bye!